Extraits

Tessa deserved more than a being who could never truly be a man again, who could not love her with a whole heart. Even though he loved her with all the broken fragments of heart he had left, it was not enough. She deserved more than he had to offer.

He should never have done it. Nevertheless, there was a selfish joy within him, a warmth that he could carry even into the deathlike coldness of the City of Bones. She had kissed him and clung to him. For one shining night, he had held her in his arms again. Tessa, Tessa, Tessa, he thought. She could never be his again, but he was hers forever. That was enough to live upon.

Tessa knew better than to ask if Catarina thought he was going to survive. He was going to survive, because they would make sure of it. Also, you didn’t ask those sorts of questions if you were concerned about the answers.

“What are you?” said the little boy.

A kind of Shadowhunter, Brother Zachariah replied.

“Did you come to kill us? I heard at’s what they do.”

No. That is not what we do. Where is your family?

“Gone,” the little boy said. “A bomb dropped on us, and my master came and got me.”

It had been all too easy to pluck these little ones out of the wreckage of a home, take them by the hand to some pitch-black alley, and Turn them. Demon activity, too, was at an all-time high. After all, who could tell whether that torn limb was from someone killed by a bomb or someone ripped apart by a demon? Did it make a difference? Mundanes had their own demonic ways.

My Tessa,

There will be no separation between us. Where you are, I am. Where we are, Will is.

Whatever else I may be, I remain always,

Your Jem

“Why have you kept so far away?” Tessa said. “We have both been grieving Will. Why do so separately?”

-I am a Silent Brother, and Silent Brothers cannot—

Jem cut himself off. Tessa clasped his hand to the point where she might have broken it.

“You are Jem—my Jem. Always my Jem.”

-I am Brother Zachariah, Jem returned.

“So be it!” said Tessa. “You are Brother Zachariah, and my Jem. You are a Silent Brother. That does not mean you are not dear to me as you always were, and you always will be. Do you think anything could separate us? Are either of us so weak as that? After all we have seen and all we have done? I spend every day grateful that you exist and are in the world. And as long as you live, we keep Will alive.”

I do not know what comfort a creature like me could bring, said Jem. If I could die to bring him back, I would, but he is gone, and with his loss the world seems even more lost to me. I fight for every drop of emotion I have, but at the same time, Tessa, I cannot see you lonely and not wish to be with you. I am not what I was. I did not want to cause you more pain.

-Being what I am, how can I comfort you? asked Jem.

“If you cannot,” said Tessa, “there is nobody in this world who can.”

“You might have died,” Tessa said. “I might have lost you too.”

-Tessa, he said, Tessa, it’s me. I am here. I am not gone.

“Why don’t we go and make a cup of tea?” Catarina said. “He’ll be sleeping for some time.”

“No. I need to be here when he wakes.”

Catarina looked at her friend’s face.

“He means a great deal to you,” she said.

“Jem—Brother Zachariah—and I have always been close.”

“You love him,” Catarina said. It was not a question.

He had always been strong. It was not because he was a Shadowhunter. It was because he had a will fierce as starlight, burning in darkness and refusing to be put out.