Extraits

'' Before you, I never truly loved. I've never belived in eternity until i found you, Sweets. Ashlyn Jennings, you're my forever always.''

I’ll lie to keep you warm.

I’ll lie to keep you away from the ugliest f**king storms.

She rolled her eyes and walked over to her bed, flopping down on it. “I’m going to die a virgin.”

My heart skipped, thinking about Gabby’s letter and how she wanted to lose her virginity to Bentley but never was able to. I bit my bottom lip and scrunched my face. “Okay, I’ll go.”

She perked up and looked at me. “You’ll go?!”

“Only if you promise to never go through my stuff again.”

“I promise!” she screamed, jumping up from the bed.

“And we have to find a way to cross an item off my bucket list.” I reached into my purse and pulled out my list. Hailey was quick to snatch it out of my hand and ran her eyes across it.

“Your sister made this? Wow. She sounds awesome.”

“She was.”

Hailey paused and looked up to me to deliver the sad expression I’d grown to hate. She then went back to the list and cleared her throat. “Number twelve. Give to those in need.”

I laughed, rolling my eyes. “I doubt helping a girl lose her virginity is what she meant.”

I sat on the pew in the far back. I hated funerals, but then again, I believed it would be weird if I loved them. I wondered if there were people who did love those kinds of things. People who showed up just to breathe in all of the sadness as a sick form of entertainment. You know what they say—you can’t spell funeral without fun.

Because pretending to be happy is almost like being happy. Until you remember that you’re only pretending. Then you’re sad. Really sad. Because wearing a mask every day of your life is the hardest thing to do. And after a while, you get a little scared because the mask becomes you.