Extraits

– Je ne t’ai jamais vu avec une femme. T’es froid, sans coeur et tu vas droit à l’essentiel.

Je l’ai fixée le regard vide, ne sachant pourquoi elle débitait ces évidences.

– Mais quand cette fille est arrivée, tout a changé. Tu ne l’as pas livrée à Bones comme prévu, et elle dort dans ton lit toutes les nuits. Ça ne me regarde pas qui tu baises, et je me fous de ta vie sexuelle, mais cette fille pourrait prendre de l’importance. Et on dirait que ça va dans ce sens. On sait tous les deux qu’il n’y a qu’un petit nombre de femmes avec qui tu peux passer le reste de ta vie. Et London n’est pas sur la liste.

Maintenant, je comprenais mieux.

– C’est ce qui t’inquiète ?

J’ai dû me retenir de rire tellement c’était ridicule.

– Si c’est ça le problème, alors on n’a pas de problème. Je garde London pour m’amuser. C’est tout.

– Mais tu ne peux pas la garder éternellement.

– J’en ai conscience.

Je n’avais aucune idée de ce que j’allais faire d’elle.

– Et je n’en ai pas l’intention. Elle est comme les autres. Ne t’inquiète pas.

Ariel ne semblait pas totalement convaincue.

– T’es différent avec elle. Je le vois.

– Non, pas du tout. Je l’ai rassurée dans l’avion parce qu’elle avait peur. Ça ne veut pas dire que j’aime cette fille.

– Mais ça ne veut pas dire non plus que t’es indifférent. As-tu couché avec d’autres femmes depuis qu’elle est là ?

Je refusais de répondre à cette question.

— Je ne veux pas être rabat-joie, mais tu devrais vraiment te limiter. Sinon t’auras besoin d’une greffe du foie avant d’avoir quarante ans.

— Et ensuite, je pourrai vivre quarante ans de plus.

Maintenant, elle me fixait d’un œil noir.

— Si je ne me trompe, on dirait que tu tiens à moi.

Son regard s’est adouci, mais il restait empreint de gravité.

— Oui, je tiens à toi, Crewe. Mais tu le sais déjà.

Mon rythme cardiaque s’est légèrement accéléré, et j’ai senti une excitation qui n’était pas seulement due à sa robe. Entendre une confession de ce genre gonflait mon ego. Elle était retenue ici contre son gré, mais elle avait des sentiments pour moi.

J’étais heureux que ces sentiments soient réciproques.

— Je veux que tu limites ta consommation.

Si cette demande venait de n’importe qui d’autre, je ne m’en serais pas soucié. Mais j’aimais la manière dont son visage trahissait son inquiétude. J’aimais savoir qu’elle tenait à moi, qu’elle voulait que je vive vieux et en bonne santé. Plus je vivrais longtemps, plus elle resterait longtemps ma prisonnière. Mais ça ne semblait pas la déranger.

Il a reposé sa bouche sur la mienne et m'a embrassée doucement, juste comme j'aimais. Nos lèvres bougeaient ensemble et sa langue s'enroulait au tour de la mienne. Par moments, il as pirait ma lèvre inférieure dans sa bouche. Même s'il était un criminel, il embrassait divinement bien. Il rendait la douceur agressive. Il rendait la len teur rapide. Il faisait du sexe une aven ture spirituelle dédiée au plaisir et à l'extase. Je n'avais jamais connu d'homme qui me fasse gémir et me tor tiller comme Crewe.

- Je vais jouir...

— Je ne dis pas que t’as eu raison de m’enlever. Mais je pense que tu as une âme sous cette façade. Si tu n’avais pas de cœur, tu m’aurais remise à Bones.

Je ne pouvais pas la laisser croire que je me souciais de son putain de sort. Je ne pouvais pas la laisser croire que j’avais fait preuve de compassion. Sinon, toutes les règles voleraient en éclats. Elle tenterait de me poignarder dans le dos la nuit parce qu’elle savait que je n’exercerais pas de représailles. Elle pourrait me pousser dans des directions que je ne voulais pas prendre.

— Je ne t’ai pas remise à Bones parce que je voulais faire souffrir Joseph encore plus. Je voulais qu’il sache que sa petite sœur se faisait baiser toutes les nuits — par son pire ennemi. Mon cœur est mort il y a longtemps, Mignonne. Tout ce que tu vois aujourd’hui n’est que de la chair et des os.

The irritation in my chest disappeared. If she did have a man, I would look at her differently. I would feel like I was sharing with someone who wasn’t even there. I moved under the water and rinsed my hair, wearing a mask so she didn’t know what I was thinking. “Been with a lot of guys?”

She did a double take, clearly offended by what I just asked. “Excuse me?”

That came out wrong. I didn’t word that very well. I was just so eager for an answer that I didn’t think it through. “That came out wrong.”

“You bet your ass that came out wrong.”

I wanted to smile at her feistiness. If she hadn’t stood up for herself at that comment, I would think less of her. “You seem experienced. That’s all I was getting at.”

She continued to massage her hair with conditioner.

I wasn’t getting anything out of her, and I didn’t know how to get my answer. “Did you have any serious boyfriends?” That wasn’t too invasive.

She ran her fingers through her hair and coated each strand with the moisture. She had a lot of hair, so it took her a while. “When have you ever beaten around the bush? If you want to know something, just ask.”

My little spitfire. “How many men have you been with other than me?”

She stepped under the shower and tilted her head back. She ran her fingers through her hair as she counted in her head. “Four.”

That’s it? I was expecting a lot more than that. “Four?”

“Yeah. Why?”

I gave her an honest answer. “You’re amazing in bed.”

Her fingers paused in her hair for a moment before she continued to rinse. “It takes two to tango.”

The corner of my lip rose in a smile. “I’ve been with a lot of women. I could have just lain there, and it still would have been spectacular.”

She shrugged then wrapped her fingers around her hair before she squeezed the water out.

“Who were these four guys?”

“What does it matter? Are you going to tell me about every woman you’ve been with?”

“I will if you do.”

“I don’t care about all the women you’ve been with,” she said coldly. “I’m sure you can’t even remember them all.”

Not true. “I remember every woman I sleep with. I have a lot of regulars in various places. It’s not always about hooking up with a stranger before I continue on my way.” I wasn’t that cold. I gave them my attention and my respect—but nothing else.

“But I doubt they ever meant anything to you.”

Only Josephine did before she stabbed me in the back. “What does it matter if they did or didn’t?”

She closed her eyes as the water fell down her face. “I guess it doesn’t.”

“Tell me about these four guys.”

She ran her hands over her hair then stepped out from under the water. “Why are you so interested?”

“Answer the question.” It didn’t matter why I was interested. I just wanted her to answer the damn question.

“The first guy was my high school sweetheart. It didn’t last long, and we were both learning. The second one was my freshman year in college. Went to a party and met a cute guy…you know how that goes. The third guy was my junior year in college. We saw each other for a while. And the last one was from my first year of medical school. We saw each other casually because we were too busy studying.”

Now that I had my answer, I was annoyed. But what did I expect to happen? There was no answer she would give that would make me feel better about the others before me.

“So I’m not very experienced,” she said. “At least, not more than most.”

It seemed like it.

She squeezed the water out of her hair again. “Is the interrogation over?”

I ignored the irritation in her voice. “Was never meant to be an interrogation.”

“If you learned to talk to people the correct way, people would open up to you.”

I didn’t want to take the time to learn. I just wanted my answers immediately.

“I’m serious. You said she didn’t mean anything to you, but I see the way you look at her.”

“And have you seen the way she looks at me?” London couldn’t get enough of me. Every morning when I left the sheets, she begged me to stay with her. During our meals together, her hands were usually on my body—her eyes glued to mine. When we fucked at night, she was all over me. She took my cock like she wanted it as much as I gave it to her, and when we slept, she was wrapped around me like a child with a teddy bear. I wasn’t stupid.

I knew she loved me.

I didn’t know when it happened, exactly. But at that opening, she was fiercely jealous of Josephine—not that there was anything to be jealous of. She didn’t want to leave my side—not even for a second. I was the center of her universe. She was pissed that she’d been taken from her home, but now she didn’t care anymore.

I was home.

Crew :

*This was not just an act.

This was all real.

I knew it.

I was usually gone before London opened her eyes, so I took the opportunity to watch her sleep. She abandoned her side of the king bed and hogged mine, her arm wrapped around my waist with her head resting on my chest.

Her back rose and fell as she slept, and her eyelashes looked thick when they were pressed against the top of her cheek. She was naked under the sheets since we went to sleep the second we were finished fucking. My come was still sitting inside her—exactly where it belonged.

Thirty minutes later, her eyes opened and she looked directly into my face. It took her sleepy mind a moment to understand what she was looking at. She blinked then focused her gaze again, my features registering in her brain. “You’re still here…”

“I don’t feel like working today.”

“Are you not feeling well?” she asked, the concern creeping into her voice.

“No, I’m fine. I just want to stay with you.”

She stretched her arms and arched her back, her mouth opening with a cute yawn. “A whole day with Crewe?”

“Yeah. How does that sound?”

“That sounds really nice, actually.”

Crew :

London and I hadn’t spoken about that night.

The night she told me she loved me.

And I said it back.