What could be scarier than the first day of school? How about a crash course in the paranormal from Charlaine Harris and Toni L. P. Kelner, editors of Home Improvement: Undead Edition?
Your worst school nightmares—taking that math test you never studied for, finding yourself naked in school assembly, not knowing which door to enter—will pale in comparison to these thirteen original stories that take academic anxiety to whole new realms.
You'll need more than an apple to stave off the creatures in these and nine other stories. Remember your first lesson: resistance is fruitless!
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Summary:
"Playing Possum" by Charlaine Harris
In this never-before-published Sookie Stackhouse story, Sookie heads for her "nephew's" kindergarten class with treats for his birthday celebration. When the crazed boyfriend of the school secretary shows up at the school with a gun, Sookie and Hunter's teacher must use every power they have to bring down the villain.
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"Spellcaster 2.0" by Jonathan Maberry
A team of cynical university students work on a research project that seeks to discover "the perfect spell". The spell that may well be the core magical ritual from which all of our world's religions have sprung." When dissension rises within the group, the students learn the importance of faith and the power of magic.
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"Academy Field Trip" by Donald Harstad
In one of the best stories in the book, two special agents and a deputy sheriff teach a class about solving unusual crimes to a group of experienced officers. When the instructors select one student to work on a special case involving vampires, their reasons for choosing her soon become clear.
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"Sympathy for the Bones" by Marjorie M. Liu
ONE-ON-ONE TRAINING: As the story begins, the lead character witnesses a death and then tells us, "Later that night, I burned the doll that killed him." In this tale of deadly poppets and magical bones, an apprentice practitioner rebels against the cruel and powerful witch who trained her. The protagonist, who is the first-person narrator, is nicely drawn, as is her mentor, the evil witch, and the tension builds throughout the story as we wait to see just how far the narrator can be pushed before she pushes back.
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"Low School" by Rhys Bowen (mystery writer)
People say that high school is a hellish experience, and in this story Amy Weinstein finds that saying to be literally true. She finds herself in a school filled with bullying students and mean-to-the-bone teachers and is forced to remember a moment in her life when she made a bargain that had consequences she didn't really understand at the time.
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"Callie Meet Happy" by Amber Benson
Calliope (Callie) Reaper-Jones has to take a class in remedial wormhole calling because as the president of Death, Inc., she has to be able to transport herself around the planet without the help of her assistant. When the instructor forces Callie to call up a wormhole, she transports herself to a cold and snowy venue where she helps save a young woman from the clutches of a villainous magic user.
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"Iphigenia in Aulis" by Mike Carey
This story uses the myth of Agamemnon and his daughter to tell a story set in a horrific world in which the Hungries (zombies) have taken over the world, and the non-infected have fled to California. As one teacher exclaims when a student asks a question about New York history, "...it's irrelevant. It's ancient history! The Hungries tore up the map. There's nothing east of Kansas anymore. Not a damn thing." In a prison on an army base, Melanie is one of a small group of children who, for unknown (at first) reasons, are kept in solitary cells and strapped down to wheelchairs when they are taken to their classroom. By the end, Melanie (and the reader) learn all of the heart-breaking facts. The story is open-ended.
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"Golden Delicious" by Faith Hunter
This story is part of Hunter's Skinwalker world, taking place after Raven Cursed and between the short story in Cat Tales and the novel, Death's Rival. The protagonist is Rick LeFleur, a former New Orleans detective who was bitten by a were-jaguar two months ago and is now going through training at the Psychometry Law Enforcement Division of Homeland Security (aka, PsyLED Spook School). Rick and his "partners," a permanently changed werewolf and a cuddly but deadly grindylow, must go through a tough final test before they are accepted into the PsyLED ranks. When someone attempts to sabotage Rick's chances, he and his team must work together to discover the truth. This story contains the quotation from which the book's title is taken: "Inside [the box] was a golden apple on a gold chain. "A Golden Delicious apple," he said, "for the...creature."
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"Magic Tests" by Ilona Andrews
This story stars Julie, Kate and Cullen's adopted daughter in the Kate Daniels series. When Kate assigns Julie to find a missing student at the Seventh Star Academy, Julie finds herself involved in a case of magical jealousy and discovers that the Academy might not be a bad place for her to finish her education, particularly when she meets the handsome guy who helps her out on her case.
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"An Introduction to Jewish Myth and Mysticism" by Steve Hockensmith
Professor Andy Abrams is notorious for his preoccupation with his chosen field of study, Jewish myths and mysticism. When Robert, the abusive ex-husband of his colleague, Karen, comes back to town determined to get her back one way or another, Andy puts his magical talents to good use as he convinces Robert to turn right back around and leave—as quickly as possible.
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"VSI" by Nancy Holder
Claire and Jackson are partner-agents in the Boston FBI field office. Claire is in the waning days of an unhappy marriage to Peter, and Jackson has the unspoken hots for his partner. When they are tapped for a special vampire task force, Claire gets some shocking family news, and the partners get jobs in a brand new FBI unit: Vampire Scene Investigations (VSI).
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"The Bad Hour" by Thomas E. Sniegoski
This is a story from the Remy Chandler series. When Remy is hired by a dog trainer to identify the source of a threat, he takes his sentient, mind-talking dog, Marlowe, along as cover and back-up. During their first visit to one of the client's obedience classes, the client's life is put in jeopardy, and Remy and Marlowe must partner up to take out the villain.
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"Pirate Dave and the Captain's Ghost" by Toni L.P. Kelner
This story is part 2 of the Joyce and Dave adventures that began with "Pirate Dave's Haunted Amusement Park" in the anthology entitled Death's Excellent Vacation. This time around, Joyce is attending a werewolf seminar to learn the pros and cons of her relatively new shifter life style. Joyce gets way more than she signed up for when her relationship with her boyfriend, Vampire Dave, comes to the attention of a ghostly ferry captain and a human who specializes in supernatural research.