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Extrait ajouté par everalice 2013-08-19T16:42:29+02:00

"Good !" she said and actually smiled a little. "I'm Raine, and I'm really glad you didn't let me drown."

I considered making a stupid crack about her name being a kind of weather but held back for once. I took another deep breath. Might as well get it all out on the table.

"I'm Daniel," I said. "I'm an alcoholic and a chain smoker, and I don't have any alcohol and only have two smokes. I'm going to try to stop myself from being a total dick, but it isn't always going to work because I'm already starting to get the shakes, and there's still probably a decent amount of alcohol in my system. This time tomorrow I'll be a whole lot worse off."

Raine sat still, just looking at me.*

"You're under my responsability," I continued. "It doesn't matter if it's a storm or a shark or a reef or anything else ; it's always the captain's responsability to keep the passengers alive. I obviously did a shitty job with the rest since you're the only one I got left. I don't like being responsible for anybody but me, and it pisses me off."

I sat back and waited for her to confirm the whole situation was my fault.

"If you know you're an alcoholic, why don't you try to stop?"

Why she decided to start with that little tidbit was beyond me.

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Extrait ajouté par everalice 2013-08-19T16:30:23+02:00

My hand went back to stroking over her skin near the mark on her face.

"Why are you doing that?" Raine asked, her voice soft. I ran my thumb back and forth over her cheek again.

"Maybe I'm just getting acclimated to touching you," I said.

"Do you think I might adopt you?"

Interesting choice of words.

"Not quite what I had in mind," I said, not completely sure what I did have in mind.

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Extrait ajouté par everalice 2013-08-19T16:02:05+02:00

Raine had flipped over and was lying on her back. I scooted my body up close to hers and wrapped one arm around her waist, but it wasn't enough. I slipped my other arm under her head and around her shoulders and pulled her tight against me, but it still wasn't enough.

Raine mumbled quietly in her sleep as I pulled her head against my chest and placed my chin on top of her head. Though it fucking hurt because it put a decent amount of weight on my aching right leg, I tossed my left leg over her body as well. Once I was essentially completely wrapped around her and at least half on top of her, the panic finally began to dissipate. There was no way anyone could take her from me without me knowing about it. If anyone tried, I'd fucking gut them.

I took a few long, deep breaths and slowly dropped back into sleep.

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Extrait ajouté par everalice 2013-08-19T16:57:37+02:00

"Somebody fucking cut me, what do you think?"

"Did you have stitches?"

I had to laugh at that one. I mean, it's a seventeen inch scar - two inches across my right triceps, then the other fifteen continuing on across my back.

"A hundred and twelve inside, just to hold the muscle together," I said. "They stapled the skin - one hundred and forty-seven of those mothers."

"Did it hurt?"

"No, I'm quite the masochist, so I fucking loved it. Are you for real?"

"I meant the stapples. Did it hurt when they took them out?"

"Of course it fucking hurt." I shook my head in disbelief. "There were staples in my skin. A section of it got infected, too, so it was a lot of fun having then removed."

"What happened to the person who did it."

"Well, let's see," I started, using my most impressive sarcastic tone, "considering he cut me, and I ended up walking out with his knife, what the fuck do you think happened to him?"

"Did he go to jail?"

"He went to the fucking morgue."

"Are you just saying that to scare me?"

"No," I said, "I'm saying it to shut you up."

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Extrait ajouté par everalice 2013-08-19T16:53:08+02:00

For once, it wasn't just me I needed to look after. There was the annoying, questioning, tiny little piece of seriously feminine, soft, brown-eyed, doesn't-take-my-shit, fucking beautiful young woman who didn't stand a chance on her own that I needed to protect.

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Extrait ajouté par everalice 2013-08-19T16:38:13+02:00

With a lot of effort, I managed to reach out with the hand she had been holding so it was a little closer to her. I found the energy to turn it palm up and then looked back into her eyes.

Raine looked from me to my hand and back again. She slowly reached out and took my hand in hers, watching my reaction.I looked from our hands back up to her face and tried to give her a wary smile, but it hurt to move even that much. I closed my eyes and sighed as she pulled my hand back into her lap, and her soft fingers began caressing the back of my hand.

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Extrait ajouté par everalice 2013-08-19T16:18:45+02:00

"I held you," she said, her voice was tensed and gaining in volume. "I held you, and you cried, and you asked why no one had ever wanted you. You asked me why your own mother didn't want you. You asked me why it hurt so much and if I could make it stop hurting. I may not know a lot about you, but I know you aren't as much of a badass as you want people to think you are."

"You know that, do you?" I sneered, tired of this psychoanalytical game she was playing. A string of curses formed in the back of my throat and were on their way out when I stopped and let out a long, deep breath. I was suddenly very, very tired, and I dropped my head into my hands.

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Extrait ajouté par everalice 2013-08-19T15:59:40+02:00

" You saved me in another way." I looked into her eyes, wanting her to understand what I meant so much.

" You gave me something... no, someone... to live for. There was no reason for my existence before you.[...]"

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Extrait ajouté par everalice 2013-08-19T15:57:42+02:00

She was teaching me to care about life again when a month ago I had been pretty convinced my future consisted of nothing but drinking myself to death.

I guess I was going to live after all.

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Extrait ajouté par everalice 2013-08-19T15:51:50+02:00

I didn't know what to say. Any word I could have invented on my own would have been inadequate, so I used someone else's.

"Forgiveness is the fragance of the violet which still clings fast to the heel that crushed it."

Raine's eyes met mine again, her tears still staining her cheeks.

"I'm a heel, Raine," I told her. "You're my beautiful violet, and I'm always crushing you. You take away my nightmares, and I probably add to yours.[...]"

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