Descrip­tions

What (completely real) people are saying about The Toilet Business:

"Hilarious!" - Stacey's BFF

"I think I just peed a little. You're gonna change my name, right?" - "Chantal"

"Can you get me some more apple juice?" - G.Benefiel, age 4

"Want to see me eat glass? Parking lot. Two minutes." - the guy on the barstool next to me at the TT in 1997.*

*Okay, this quote has nothing to do with The Toilet Business. It also had nothing to do with the conversation I was having with that guy in '97.

*****

Stacey Wallace Benefiel has been a butcher, a baker and would totally entertain the idea of being a candlestick maker.

Over the past eighteen years she’s worked nearly fifty jobs, ninety percent of which were crappy.

From motel housekeeper, to fry cook, to Tower Records salesperson, Stacey has weathered her employment adventures with a smile on her face, uncomfortable shoes on her feet, and a double Jack and Coke in hand.

Her employment history gives new meaning to the phrase retail therapy.

*****

The Toilet Business is intended for readers over 18 due to language and semi-illegal shenanigans.