Yliaster Crystal, Tome 2 : Hunter's Soul

Holding a bunch of plastic bags, thumping repeatedly on Kane’s office’s door, I began to think perhaps I should have called before coming.

“Kane!” I shouted, my fist pounding the door. “Open up. It’s an emergency.”

Which it really was. If I didn’t get to a bathroom soon, I would pee all over my jeans and sneakers.

Finally, there was the sound of a key in the door. I hopped from foot to foot as it clicked once, twice, and the door was open. Kane stood in the doorway, wearing a loose white T-shirt, a pair of jeans, and a confused look. His hair was wet and he was barefoot. I’d dragged him out of the shower.

“Here,” I blurted, shoving the bags at him. “Food. Dinner. I have to pee.”

Without waiting for approval, I barged past him, and bolted for the bathroom as fast as my spinning head allowed.

A few minutes later, having peed what amounted to a small river, I trotted out of the bathroom and smiled at Kane, who still stood in the doorway, holding the bags in his hands. His grass-green eyes stared into mine. After a second, I realized I’d paused mid-stride, my mouth slightly ajar.

“I got us Mexican,” I said. “Food. Mexican food. But then I remembered you hate Mexican food.”

“I don’t hate Mexican food,” Kane answered.

“Yeah you do. We talked about it, remember? You told me you don’t like it because it’s too spicy.”

“I never said that. I like Mexican food.”

“Oh. Right. Maybe it was someone else.” I blinked. “And it wasn’t Mexican food, it was Indian food he didn’t like. Anyway, I got you some Chinese, as well.”

“And there appears to be a Pandora’s box in one of the bags,” Kane noted. “Which is nice, but I don’t think it really goes with either Chinese or Mexican food.”

“Right.” I wobbled. “I almost forgot it at the counter in the Chinese place. I had all these bags, and the cashier was like, hey lady, you forgot your bag, and I was like, whoops, wouldn’t want to forget that, it would be the end of the world, ha ha, but she wasn’t really listening.”

“Lou, are you drunk?”

“It was an accident. I drank some troll grog. I didn’t mean to, I was just trying to burn the motherfucka from hell.”

“Burn… what motherfucka?”

“It’s a thingy… It was a bit like a scorpion, only it had a baby head—”

“So it was a baby scorpion?”

“No. It was like an actual human baby’s head. But a really ugly baby. And it spit this white sticky goo, like semen.” I paused. “Now that I think about it, maybe it was his semen. Ew.”

“Lou… what’s going on?”

“First talk, then eat. No. I meant, first eat, then talk. There’s some shit going on, Kane. Some freeeeaky scary shit. I should have taken a picture of that creepy scorpion. Just to get you in the right mood.” I rummaged through the bags. “So you’re sure you like Mexican?”

“Yeah.”

“Awesome. Because now that I’m here, I’m really digging this Chinese. Oh, and you’ll never guess what else I brought.”

“Ice cream?”

“That’s right!” I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. “How did you—”

“It was in the bags you threw at me on your way to the bathroom.”

“Oh. For a second I thought you read my mind. Wouldn’t that be embarrassing, with the things I’m thinking. Yeah, so I was telling that Uber guy, you know what goes really well with Mexican food? And he said, what, and I said, ice cream. And then he was like, I think ice cream goes with everything, and I was like, this guy gets it.”

“You talk really fast when you’re drunk,” Kane observed.

“It’s the troll grog. I think they put something in it to make you hyper. It takes some time to kick in, but once it does, whooooo-eeee. You should try it sometime. Except it might kill you or turn your brain into mush.”

“I think I definitely won’t try it.”

I shoveled rice with fried vegetables into my mouth as fast as I could, chewing while speaking, the occasional rice grain flying out of my mouth in a tall arc, landing on the table. “I missed you, Kane, you know that? It’s kinda ridiculous to miss someone you only just met a month ago, but I do. You’re nice, and you’re… I made up a really good word to describe you back home, when I was talking to Magnus. I was like, Kane is clever and sexy. He’s clexy! No, hang on, that’s not right. Maybe I said, he’s sexever… It doesn’t sound witty at all now that I’m telling you about it. Maybe you had to be there.”

“Probably,” Kane said sardonically, taking a bite from an empanada.

“Anyway, I didn’t come here just to buy you dinner.” I waved my chopsticks at him. “I think the creature that jumped at me came from the box.”

“What box?”

“Pandora’s box.”

He stared at me, horrified. “The box was locked. Did you… did you open it?”

“Do I look demented?”

“You look drunk.”

“Not that drunk. And anyway, I only got drunk after he got out. You aren’t listening. I didn’t open it. But the creature was inside the safe, and that shouldn’t be possible. That safe has more protections on it than a high school student going to the prom. So I figured maybe it came from the box.” I tapped the side of my head with my chopsticks. “See? Drunk, but this baby still works.”

“You just smudged rice in your hair.”