Extraits

“Every single time,” Precipitation whined loudly. “The poor bride, blah blah fucking blah! It never occurs to them that I’m actually a man in a dress. Not once! Not fucking once do they ever wonder why I have a damn beard! Do I look fantastic? Yes. Do I manage to make this high-collared ivory travesty elegant and dare I say even sensual? Yes. But am I a woman? No!”

“Yup. It’s just terrible.” Huck sighed. “So very terrible.”

“God, how I hate her. Beelzebub’s concubine. Vile festering whore of Lucifer. That absolute bitch.”

“Wait, what bitch? Myrna?”

“No! My sister! The one who murdered me over a hundred years ago!”

“Right, right. That bitch. Got it.”

“At least no one remembers her. Ha! It is sort of satisfying that they only talk about me… but still! I heard one woman say that she thought I was wearing a veil! A fucking veil, can you believe it?”

“Nope. Sure can’t.”

This was not the first time Huck had heard this rant and seeing how he and Precipitation were both dead and stuck here at the Allan Hotel together, it would very likely not be the last.

Huck figured out the stuck part fairly quickly. After his tumble down the stairs a few years ago, the world became foggy and devoid of color. It was a grayscale haze he wanted absolutely nothing to do with, and he’d tried running right out the nearest door. That, however, was like racing face-first into a concrete wall, and every exit was the same way, even the windows.

Huck didn’t want to accept that he’d died at first, but coming back and seeing his lifeless body crumpled at the base of those stupid stairs was a pretty big clue. He cried and screamed a little, and that’s when he found out that he wasn’t alone.

Precipitation Per Chance was the first spirit he met, the ghost of a young man who had died at the turn of the century. He was in fact not a young bride, but the brother of a bride who had decided to take both the wedding dress and the groom for a spin the night before the ceremony. His sister was furious, Precipitation was drunk, and the last thing he remembered was getting cracked over the head with something heavy.  

His unusual name was pretty common for the time—his sister was named Jubilation—and his boisterous personality in life made for a very vivid spirit. He’d been happy to show Huck around and teach him everything there was to being a ghost. 

Huck was happy to have a friend in this weird miserable excuse for an afterlife. Though Precipitation didn’t have any answers about why or how they were stuck here in the hotel, it was nice to have company.

Except when Myrna gave tours.

That’s when Precipitation would rant and moan and bitch.