Extraits

Becca?” My name felt so familiar on his lips.

I nodded, wiping the hair off his forehead.

Spoiler(cliquez pour révéler)“I think I’m in love with you,” he whispered, closing his eyes.

My heart seemed to leap out of my chest then. I was sure that if I looked up, I’d see it sailing past the stars, the moon. And when he kissed me, I searched for metaphors, for similes. For the “like” and the “as,” but I couldn’t think of a single thing but how it felt to have him so close to me. I searched for the words to put this feeling into thoughts and I came up empty. Or maybe I was just too full, full of whatever this feeling was.

Stop overthinking, I told myself. Feel.

So I did.

“I love you too,” I said.

I don’t know why I was so obsessed with the sky. Maybe it was the idea of a new day, a fresh start. Or maybe I just liked the way it looked. Not everything had to have some big meaning behind it.

"Because you go somewhere else when you read. I want to go there with you"

« If you don’t like pineapple, why agree to order it?” I asked.

“Because you like it,” he said easily. »

She sighed. “Is it scary or not?”

“No, Becca. And if it is, I will protect you from all the fictional horror. Can I continue?”

“You seem very excited to read this.”

“God, Becca. What are you doing?” she asked. I ignored her and threw another one in. “You’re polluting the water.”

Spoiler(cliquez pour révéler) I threw another, then said, “Semi-broken hearts are selfish. They don’t care about things like pollution.”

“You know,” she said, kneeling on the floor beside me and sitting down, “when my parents got divorced, I felt like this too. I kept searching for answers like their marriage was some puzzle and all I needed was to find the right pieces. I obsessed over it for years, wondering why my dad left and what moment he realized he didn’t want us anymore. Was it during dinner one night? Was there a fight I don’t know about? Did he just stop loving my mom? There are so many questions and I’m still looking for the answers, Brett. Even now. I mean”—she started laughing—“I show up at his house sometimes and I just stand there like a complete weirdo! Staring and waiting! I even went inside last week and talked to his wife! And the worst part is, I don’t even know what I’m waiting for. I just stand there and hope that the day will come when I won’t have to. When I won’t feel like this anymore.

“And some days are better. Like when we were at the arcade eating jelly bells. Or when I’m at the bakery with my mom and Cassie. In those moments, it’s like the life we used to have with my dad was from another lifetime. And I’m happy with it being just my mom and me. But there are days when it sucks. Days when I obsess over him and overanalyze every little thing until I realize it’s pointless. People leave, Brett. It’s not our fault for not giving them a reason to stay. It’s their fault for not finding one. You know?”

Was it worth remembering or forgetting?

Je pensais que ma passion pour les romans d'amour mourrait avec le divorce de mes parents. Mais non, c'est tout l'inverse : j'ai toujours davantage envie d'en lire. Au moins deux livres par semaine, pourtant je trouve que je n'en lis jamais assez. Comme si l'amour n'existait pas dans la réalité mais ne pouvait se vivre qu'en fiction. Entre les pages, on est à l'abri: le chagrin est limité, il n'y a pas de séquelle, pas d'onde de choc. D'ailleurs, ce n'est pas pour tien que les romans d'amour se terminent toujours juste après l'union d'un couple : personne n'a envie ce voir leur bonheur se transformer en malheur. N'est-ce pas ?

Les héros s'embrassent... C'est vrai que l'amour efface tout le reste ? Qu'il permet à chaque héroïne de se sentir vivante ? Elle ne l'était donc pas déjà avant de rencontrer l'âme sœur ? Ou bien elle était dans un état de zombie? Comment l'amour peut-il tout changer, et pourquoi n'en ai-je pas marre de ces bêtises si éloignées de la réalité ?