“Vegr yfir fjor.” Honor above life.”
“What are you thinking?” He took my hand.
“I’m thinking I don’t want to fight anymore.”
His fingers tightened around mine. It seemed so foolish now, all the fighting.
All the death and loss and mourning.”
“The writhing, bleeding hole inside of me closed up. I let him erase it. I let him make it go away.”
“We find things, just as we lose things. If you’ve lost your honor, you’ll find it again.”
“Home felt an entire world away.”
“I was the ice on the river. The snow clinging onto the mountainside.”
“I feel like…” I caught the sob in my chest and swallowed it, suddenly embarrassed. He leaned in closer to me. “Like what?” My eyes ran over his face. The scruff on his jaw. The dark lashes around his blue eyes. “Like I’m a flame about to burn out.” My voice was so thin it sounded like I could reach out and break it with my fingers. “Like I’m going to disappear.”
“The fog sat on the field like a veil, but we could hear it. The blades of swords and axes brushing against armor vests. Quick footsteps in sucking mud. My heart beat almost in rhythm with the sounds, pulling one breath in and letting it touch another before I let it go.”
“I could still see a young Eelyn standing on the beach turned into the wind, a sword in one hand and an axe in the other. I hadn’t lost her. I hadn’t buried her. I’d only let her change into something new.”
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