Halo : Fractures

So when the ship at last reached the Corbulo banner

He was thirty years old and as mad as a spanner

The medics tried hard to habilitate Hamish

His exploits aboard were disturbing but famous

They found him a job doing what he does best

Which is making the most of a terrible mess

So they put him in whites and they gave him a broom

And set him about cleaning room after room

The other cadets soon forgot Hamish's story

And Hamish got used to his missed chance at glory

He'd never a soldier or an officer be

But he never got used to the odor of pee

He'd clean it in bathrooms from floor to the sink

But I never revealed . . . what did poor Hamish drink?

So here is the moral of this dreadful tale

Check all of your gaskets before you set sail

And if in your world, you're aware that it's cleanish

Remember the ballad of poor Hamish Beamish